Prepping until Ritual 1 (posts #4 - #6)

I made a slew of videos on April 1 about how I am prepping for angel magick. Like…it maaaaay have been overkill to go into such detail but such is the monotropic brain (monotropism, which is a fancy way of saying “hyper-focused on a special interest to the point where it’s fucking annoying to everyone else”)

(Reminder: the screenshots are the original Patreon posts, but because it was a 1-month-only project, the Patreon is no longer available. The links are to Google docs that are copies of the original posts)

So, first up … me rattling on about a burgeoning special interest of mine - health. Like a lot of people, my path to esotericism is entwined with a personal history of mystery illnesses, often psychosomatic. When mainstream healthcare couldn’t provide me answers, then I naturally turned to alternative health. And then somehow, I got turned onto transhumanism.

How annoying that transhumanism has been co-opted by tech bros, because now I can’t openly talk about injecting peptides without people thinking I’m into alt-right ideologies and worshipping at the altar of Elonia Musk.

So ok, transhumanism is basically a desire to transcend human death via bio-hacking, and there is often a huge focus on taking experimental supplements and other medical technologies. This can be quite expensive and requires a decent amount of science background, which is why the tech bros abound in this niche. A famous / infamous one is Bryan Johnson (yes, the guy who swapped blood with his teenage son).

But, I swear I have very different intentions than the Bryan Johnsons of the world. Sure, the bros and I are control freaks and fear the unknown territory of death. But the bros are Western masculine in their desire to dominate and overcome death (man vs. nature), while I am Eastern feminine in my desire to relax into death.

For both the bros and myself, there is a deep curiosity in this meat suit, this human incarnation. We both want the most souped up model of our bodies, the most healthy and vibrant…but to be honest, I’m kinda disinterested in my body. To this day, my body is a source of discomfort for me, like shoes that are a size too small. I am grateful that I have mobility and generally passable C+ health that doesn’t require constant hospitalization. Otherwise, I’ve spent my life feeling always under the weather, like an alien that is allergic to my own skin.

Thank god for magick then, because eating well and exercising for a hot summer bod was never motivating enough for me. But healthy habits to get better bang for my magick buck? Yes please. And best of all, learning first hand that THE ULTIMATE PROTECTION MAGICK IS HEALTH.

I can’t tell you how many times people have tried to throw curses at me (part of the tax I pay for being a magick person publicly). But it’s just really hard to take curse work seriously when you get 8 hrs of sleep on a delectable memory foam mattress, have very little stress, hang out with friends and family, and otherwise lead a peaceful life. The kids call it “touching grass” — magick works best when your nervous system and physical body are grounded. And the most direct way to ground oneself is through taking total responsibility for what you put in your mouth, and how you move your body.

Moving on, the next post I put up was the replay of a long-ass livestream about why I’m doing this angel magick thing in April. I’m way too lazy to watch all 4 hrs again, but I definitely remember that this angel magick timing (nor the ayahuasca retreat timing) wasn’t totally random. Basically, Human Design transits (which are kinda like astrology transits) were once in a lifetime and I was going to ride that wave.

In retrospect, do I think the Human Design transits warranted all the hype? To be honest, it’s very hard to tell because I made the transits significant by choosing to do two extremely intense, life-changing things (the angel magick and ayahuasca retreat).

Could I have done these events during other transits and had just-as-good-or-even-better results? Possibly. This is why I’m never a slave to astrology or Human Design transits, but I won’t deny that it’s easier to be courageous and break out of inertia when it seems like an divine time to do so. In that sense, the transits are valuable, the same way that the holiday seasons are valuable because they just make life feel cooler, more cinematic. Just like, when everyone agrees that Dec. 25 is Christmas and it just makes everything more fun and well-decorated.

And then (all on April 1), in case anyone was wondering if I’m into this whole hypothesis of “health as magick” I created another post, this time about exercise.

Watching the previous nutrition video and now this exercise video, I’m rather impressed with myself. Not because I’m doing anything special, but because all these months, I thought I had been reckless to do the month of angel magick and ayahuasca retreat. But actually, I was surprisingly well-prepared for such intensity because I had several months of clean living and healthy habits under my belt.

Sure, there was no way to fully prep my mind for something I had never done before, but at least my body and health was in decent shape, and my mindset was healthy. In the above exercise video, I talk a lot about not getting caught up in perfectionism when it comes to magick, of doing realistic small magick rituals as often as possible. Here I was, thinking all this time that I have a very rigid personality but while I saw myself as inflexible, the reality was that my actions showed someone who showed a lot of flexibility in how I live my daily life.

I will never be a fitness influencer, I will never be fully optimized to be some productivity guru (I mean, I “waste” hours just watching K-pop videos while leisurely strolling on a walking pad), but I do things imperfectly, in small and realistic and practical ways. Social media shows us these peak performance / highlights, but here I am with a swollen face, un-cute workout clothes, doing the laziest workout possible. But I still do it.

Same with my magick. My magick is so…unremarkable. I’m NOT naturally talented, I’m NOT doing aesthetic and glamorous rituals. I’m lazy and always looking for hacks. I’m trying to do the least amount of work possible for the most results.

This is the ultimate anti-perfectionist mindset, borne from just the first-hand realization that “if I want to be an armchair occultist, sure then I can live in the world of everything has to be big and perfect, but if I want to be an actual occultist and be able to have that inner sense of pride, then I have to accept that it’s IMPOSSIBLE for real people living real lives and real jobs and paying real taxes to spend all this time on perfect rituals. If I can’t do magick that is sustainable for a normal person, then magick is irrelevant and pointless for modern people. I have to do magick in a way that is actually do-able for the average person”

Oh, and if you’re wondering if I still have the same health and exercise routine? No. I’m far more relaxed right now. This is the nature of realistic routines - sometimes you are strict, sometimes you are relaxed. The key is to not stray toooo far. For example, I know that I can easily jump back into an even more stringent version of the aforementioned routines…but I don’t really need to right now because I’m focused more on integration rather than an actual psychedelic trip or ritual. In fact, being too strict is another sign of inflexibility, and the whole point of doing extreme magick well is that you have to have a foundation of flexible mindset to be able to roll with things.

The next email will still have some prep-posts, but day 1 ritual 1 is also coming. I know a lot of you want to get to the meat and potatoes, but from my personal experience…prep work is like 90% of what makes or breaks a magick ritual, a psychedelic journey, any artistic project and performance, etc.. So, even though these prep posts may seem kinda whatever, they are essential to lay down what will be a very successful month of angel magick.

See you in a few days